How to interview a relative about their life

Every family carries stories that fade without a listener. A thoughtful interview helps relatives feel seen while giving future generations context for their history. This guide walks you through a compassionate process for planning, recording, and preserving those conversations.

Step 1: Plan the interview with consent and comfort in mind

Reach out at least a week ahead. Share why you want to interview them, how you will use the recording, and who will be able to access it. Offer options for location (living room, porch, video call) and timing (morning vs. evening). Discuss accessibility needs—captions, translation, mobility support, or breaks.

Create a simple agenda that outlines:

• Welcome and warm-up (5 minutes).
• Thematic questions (20 to 30 minutes).
• Reflection and wrap-up (5 to 10 minutes).
• Next steps (how you will share the recording and when).

Send the agenda and sample prompts so they know what to expect. This transparency reduces anxiety and increases buy-in.

Step 2: Prepare prompts and sensory artifacts

Organise questions into themes such as childhood, work, love, resilience, migration, or everyday rituals. Print or display them on a tablet. Include open-ended prompts (“Tell me about the neighbourhood you grew up in”) and follow-ups (“What did it smell like?” “Who else was there?”).

Gather sensory items that spark memories: photos, letters, recipe cards, textiles, or music playlists. Ask the storyteller to contribute their own artifacts if they can. Keep pens and sticky notes handy so you can mark items that need scanning later.

Step 3: Warm up the conversation with easy questions

Begin with topics that feel light and familiar. Try:

• What made you smile this week?
• Who taught you something useful when you were a kid?
• What sounds filled your home growing up?

Listen actively—nod, maintain soft eye contact, and mirror key phrases. Let silence linger; it invites deeper detail.

Step 4: Explore deeper chapters one theme at a time

Move gently into more complex themes. Group questions in short sets and check in between them.

Examples:

• Change and resilience: “Tell me about a time you had to start over. Who helped you through it?”
• Love and partnership: “How did you meet your partner, and what do you remember about that first conversation?”
• Work and purpose: “What job made you proud, even if it was unpaid?”
• Community: “Who were your neighbours? How did everyone support each other?”

Use reflective follow-ups: “What did that teach you?” “How did your body feel in that moment?” “What advice would you give someone going through something similar?”

If strong emotion surfaces, pause the recording. Offer water or a break and ask whether they want to continue. Honour any request to skip a topic.

Step 5: Capture audio and contextual notes

Record the session following the recording guide. Position the microphone six to eight inches from their mouth, capture a test clip, and monitor levels occasionally. Note the date, location, participants, and any background noises that might appear (rain, traffic, pets).

During or immediately after the interview, jot down:

• Key quotes you want to highlight.
• Emotional beats to handle carefully when sharing.
• Follow-up tasks (scanning photos, verifying spellings, researching historical references).

Step 6: Close with gratitude and next steps

Thank them sincerely. Recap one story that resonated with you and explain how you will protect their words. Confirm:

• When they will receive the recording.
• How they can request edits or redactions.
• Whether they want updates about future interviews.

Offer to share the final archive with other relatives only after they approve it.

Step 7: Organise, share, and archive the material

Within 48 hours:

1. Save the recording with a consistent naming convention (e.g., “2025-09-Grandma-Lucia-Session01”).
2. Upload it to your Keepsake project, tag it with themes (e.g., “migration,” “music,” “caregiving”), and attach your notes.
3. Write a short summary that includes participants, setting, and major topics.
4. Send the storyteller a thank-you message with a download link and ask if they want any sections private.

Once approved, share highlights with relatives who should hear them. Pair audio clips with photos or transcripts so everyone can engage on their preferred medium. Schedule a follow-up interview while the momentum is fresh, especially if the storyteller hinted at topics they want to revisit.

Interview checklist

1. Confirm consent, accessibility needs, and scheduling.
2. Organise prompts and artifacts by theme; pack recording gear and backups.
3. Warm up with light questions; move into deeper topics gradually.
4. Monitor audio levels and note context as you record.
5. Close with gratitude, share next steps, and archive within 48 hours.

A compassionate interview does more than capture facts—it preserves tone, humour, and hard-earned wisdom. With preparation and care, you will build an archive your family will revisit for decades.

Pair this guide with complementary resources

• Use the recording voice notes guide to ensure technical quality.
• Bring the cultural heritage story workbook when interviews cover migration or language.
• Plan reunion-scale sessions with the family reunion storytelling guide so multiple relatives can share in one weekend.