41 questions to ask your mom about life before kids

Parents often become the centre of everyone else’s story. These prompts help you see your mom as the complex, inventive person she was before raising a family. Use them to spark new conversations, deepen empathy, and capture history while you can.

Tips before you begin

• Share your intention and ask if there are topics she prefers to skip.
• Blend casual chats with scheduled interviews so nothing feels like an interrogation.
• Offer to trade stories—she tells one, then you share a memory for balance.
• Use the interview guide for structure and the audio checklist to preserve her voice.
• Keep a notebook ready for follow-up tasks such as scanning photos or noting names.

Home and childhood

1. What neighbourhood did you grow up in, and what made it feel special?
2. Who were the adults you trusted outside your family?
3. What did a perfect Saturday look like when you were ten?
4. Which foods, smells, or sounds instantly take you back home?
5. What games or imaginative worlds did you create with friends or siblings?
6. How did your family handle tough moments like illness or money stress?
7. What chore or responsibility taught you the most about yourself?
8. How did your family celebrate birthdays or holidays?
9. Were there any family sayings you still repeat?
10. What childhood dream sticks with you even now?

School and learning

11. Which subjects or teachers lit up your curiosity?
12. What did success or failure look like in your school years?
13. How did you travel to school, and what do you remember from the commute?
14. What extracurriculars, clubs, or sports did you love?
15. Did you ever break a rule? What happened next?
16. Which project or accomplishment made you proud?
17. Who believed in you when you doubted yourself?
18. How did you make spending money stretch during your teen years?
19. What were your go-to study snacks or routines?
20. What did you want to study after high school, and why?

Friendships and community

21. Who were your closest friends, and how did you meet each other?
22. What adventures or mischief did you get into together?
23. Where did you gather when you wanted to feel free?
24. How did friendships change when you moved, started work, or went to college?
25. Which friend taught you something you still lean on?
26. Do you have friendships you intentionally rekindled later in life?

Work and ambitions

27. What was your first job, and what did you learn from it?
28. Who mentored you in your early career or creative pursuits?
29. Did you ever make a big pivot? What pushed the decision?
30. How did you feel about money, success, and stability before starting a family?
31. What risks did you take that people might not know about?
32. What skill are you most proud of mastering before parenthood?

Love, independence, and daily life

33. How did you meet important partners or companions in your life?
34. What did dating or relationships look like for you in your twenties?
35. How did you spend a quiet night in when you lived alone or with roommates?
36. What routines or rituals kept you grounded?
37. What travel experiences shaped how you see the world?
38. What music, art, or books were on repeat in your home?
39. What personal goals did you achieve before starting a family?
40. What dreams did you set aside, and how do you feel about them today?
41. What advice would you give your younger self if you could send a message back?

Keep the momentum

• Ask for photos, playlists, or journal entries that match the stories.
• Record a short reflection afterward summarising what you learned.
• Add new prompts over time—heritage, activism, creative pursuits—and revisit yearly.
• Share highlights with siblings so everyone can contribute follow-up questions.

The more you invite your mom to revisit her life before parenting, the more you understand the full arc of your family’s story.

Keep exploring together

• Invite siblings to add their own prompts and plan a shared interview weekend using the family reunion storytelling guide.
• Connect your mom’s career or activism stories to traditions documented in the cultural heritage story workbook.
• If you want to turn answers into a keepsake, use the anniversary storytelling playbook to design a joint reflection ritual.

Finish each session with a small action—scanning photos, labelling recipe cards, or writing thank-you notes—so your mom sees immediate progress and knows her stories matter.

Close each conversation by asking how she wants the stories reused. Maybe she prefers a private Keepsake folder, a printed booklet, or a playlist of her favourite songs paired with quotes. When she sets the boundaries, you build trust for future interviews and show that the archive belongs to her as much as it does to you.