An obituary tells people that someone has died, gives a short account of their life and says how to attend the service or send condolences. Most follow the same order: the announcement, a few lines about their life, the family, the service details and where to send donations. An online obituary can run longer than a newspaper notice, which is priced by length.
Start with the facts, which you can usually get from the funeral home, then add one or two details that sound like the person.
What to include, in order
- The announcement. Name, including any nickname people knew, age, town, the date of death and, if the family wants, a few words about how they died (“after a long illness,” “peacefully at home”).
- Their life. Where they grew up, work, service, the things they loved, what people will remember. Pick a few specifics rather than a full résumé.
- Family. Who survives them (spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings) and, if the family wants, who died before them.
- Service details. Date, time and place of the funeral, memorial or visitation, or a note that the service will be private.
- Donations or flowers. “In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to...” with the charity’s name.
- A closing line, if you want one. A thank-you to carers or a hospice, or a line about the person.
A fill-in template
Copy this, replace the brackets and delete what doesn’t apply.
[Full name, with nickname in quotes], [age], of [town], died on [date] [at home / after a short illness / surrounded by family].
[First name] grew up in [town or region] [and how, in a few words]. [He/She/They] worked as [job] for [number] years and [one sentence on what that work meant to them or others]. [Two or three specifics: what they loved, what they were known for, a phrase or habit people will remember.]
[First name] is survived by [spouse or partner]; [children and their partners]; [grandchildren]; and [siblings]. [He/She/They] was predeceased by [names].
A [funeral / memorial / celebration of life] will be held at [place] on [date] at [time]. [Or: A private service will be held for family.]
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity].
[Optional: The family thanks the staff at (hospice or care home) for their kindness.]
Three fictional examples
These people are invented. Use the shape, not the words.
Short notice (about 70 words)
Harold “Hal” Brennan, 84, of Dayton, Ohio, died peacefully on September 12. He was a machinist for 38 years and coached Little League for twenty. He is survived by his wife of 59 years, Joan; his children, Mark and Lisa; and five grandchildren. A funeral will be held at St. Luke’s Church on Friday, September 19, at 11 a.m. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Dayton Food Bank.
Traditional (about 150 words)
Margaret Kowalski, 91, of Erie, Pennsylvania, died on March 3 at home, with her family beside her.
Margaret grew up on a dairy farm and was the first in her family to finish high school. She worked for 30 years as a school secretary, where she knew every child’s name and most of their excuses. She sang in the church choir, grew prize tomatoes and never missed a grandchild’s recital.
She is survived by her children, Paul (Diane) and Teresa; her grandchildren, Anna, Michael and Joe; and her sister, Irene. She was predeceased by her husband, Stan, in 2009.
Visitation will be held at Brown Funeral Home on Thursday, March 7, from 4 to 7 p.m., with a funeral Mass on Friday at 10 a.m. at St. Mary’s Church. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the hospice that cared for her.
Life story (about 200 words)
Daniel Okafor, 67, of Sacramento, died on June 22 after a two-year illness. He was a teacher, a terrible golfer and the person everyone called when their car made a noise.
Daniel came to California from Nigeria at 24 with one suitcase and a place at engineering school. He switched to teaching math after one semester of tutoring and stayed in the classroom for 35 years. Former students still sent him photos of their diplomas. He believed anyone could learn algebra if you explained it three different ways, and he usually had a fourth.
Outside school, he rebuilt old cars in his garage, cooked jollof rice for every neighborhood party and argued cheerfully about soccer with anyone who would listen. He traveled back to Nigeria every other summer and took each of his children with him at least once.
He is survived by his wife, Grace; his children, Chidi, Ada and Michael; his granddaughter, Zara; and his brothers, Emeka and Tunde.
A celebration of life will be held at Riverside Community Center on Saturday, July 6, at 2 p.m. Wear something comfortable; Daniel would have. Donations may be made to the scholarship fund at the high school where he taught.
What to leave out
Obituaries are public, and the details in them can help identity thieves. A mother’s maiden name, for example, is a common security question for bank and online accounts, so Experian suggests giving only first names for relatives and leaving out detailed military service records.
To be safer:
- give the age, not the full date of birth;
- leave out maiden names, middle names and the place of birth if you can;
- don’t print the home address;
- if the house will be empty during the funeral, ask a neighbor to keep an eye on it, or leave the service time out of the online version.
Also leave out anything the family hasn’t agreed to share, such as a diagnosis, a family rift or the cause of death.
Where to publish it and what it costs
Ask the funeral home whether it posts obituaries on its website, and whether it can place a newspaper notice for you. You can use both: a short notice in print to save money, and the full version online.
Newspapers charge by length, and prices vary a lot between papers. As one example, the Tampa Bay Times lists a paid obituary starting at $80 for the first five lines, then $12 per extra line, with $50 for a photo each day it runs. Notices must be submitted, approved and paid by 1 p.m. the day before (Friday 1 p.m. for Sunday or Monday). Ask your local paper or the funeral home for a quote before you finalize the length.
How an obituary differs from a eulogy
An obituary is written to be read, usually by people who need the facts: who died, when and where the service is. It is short, factual and in the third person.
A eulogy is spoken at the service, to people who already know the person has died. It’s more personal, often in the first person, and built around stories. If you’re writing one, see the eulogy examples and outline.
Before you submit
- Check every name’s spelling, and the date, time and place of the service.
- Ask one family member to read it, especially for the list of survivors. Leaving someone out hurts.
- Ask the funeral home or paper about deadlines, photo sizes and word limits.
- Save a copy. You may want the text later for a memorial booklet or a family history.