If your family goes around the table saying what you are grateful for, these questions give that moment some variety. They also give the hours of cooking and waiting something to talk about.
The kitchen is a good place to start. Whoever is basting or mashing can answer the food questions without stopping, and “Who taught you to make this?” often leads to a story about a grandparent. At the table, choose one question and let whoever wants to answer. Save the gratitude questions for after the meal, when nobody is hungry and the food isn’t getting cold.
People who aren’t at the table
Two questions near the end ask about people who have died or can’t be there. They can make a table warmer, or they can catch someone off guard in a year of loss. Ask them last, or ask one person quietly while you wash up, and let anyone pass.
One longer conversation
StoryCorps runs the Great Listen, which invites people to record an interview with an elder, mentor or friend for the StoryCorps archive at the Library of Congress. Follow its current instructions if you want to take part; a private family recording is a separate choice.
At a gathering, ask whether someone would like a short conversation away from the table, and choose a question together. If you record it, agree where the recording will go and who may hear it. The family interview kit and the guide to interviewing a relative can help you prepare, or you can simply ask about one photograph. Leave room for people who would rather just enjoy the meal.